And so, here I am again. At the window. A rather trivial activity bur for me it is everything. As long as I continue to be what I am, I cannot leave. And this window is all I have. My peek into the world.
It’s a warm evening, the sun is crimson red and it’s lighting the sky in a beautiful orange hue. I can smell the fern trees, dancing in the wind. I can hear the dew drops rolling off the tender leaves.
It wasn’t always like this. I remember the days I used to run through the fields and enjoy swimming in the lake. The orchard trees were a perfect place to rest while munching on the fruits. Daniel was there too. My friend Daniel. He was a good person, the only one to accept me for who I am. Maybe that was his mistake. No. I can’t blame him for it. What happened was my fault, there’s no other way to see it. The others have told me, I didn’t do it intentionally, that the lycanthropy makes me blood thirsty at the time. But I still blame myself.So here I sit, gazing out my window.
It’s not a full moon night. I’m safe, so is the world around me. The pool is just beyond the slopes. If I wanted, I could take a quick dip. I wouldn’t go to the orchard anymore. Fruit doesn’t agree with me, only meat does. But water is good, the water calms me down. And I need it badly today. I leap out and land softly on the grass. I look around, no one heard me. Good. I dash across the land and dive right in. The cold night had made the waters chilly. My senses scream as the cold water envelopes me. It’s dark and the cold hurts. My brain freezes and screams. And then suddenly, nothing. I’m numb and my body drifts slowly. A wave of tranquility passes through me. I feel refreshed. I reach out to the surface and emerge, taking a deep breath. It feels heavenly. The cold water, the symphony of moving water. And smell of fresh grass.
I gaze around, and looked at the sky. My eyes widened in horror. A shining ball of light glares back at me. A full moon. I miscalculated. I swim frantically back to the shore and sprint through the grasslands. I could feel my bones grinding against each other. My skin tearing as the fur erupted out. My teeth stretching out into fangs. My nails digging into the ground as I run. I only have a few moments before I lose control. I don’t want to kill anymore. I don’t want to hurt anymore.
I knew I had just seconds of sanity left, and my window is just in my reach. I had to jump. One leap to my home, one leap into the safe darkness. I put everything into my legs and push myself off the ground. I could see it, my window, right before me. I stretch my arms out to reach for it. I won’t have to kill tonight, I think.
Too bad I missed.